Saturday, March 24, 2007

Daily Wisdom

God's love for us is not the reason for which we should love him. God's love for us is the reason for us to love ourselves.
-Simone Weil

Monday, March 19, 2007


So here I am posting the last part to my repost of The Awakening... You'll have to follow it all together at one time, it is worth every minute.


You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that

sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people...

...and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault.

It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you

want to live as best you can.

~ Victorya Casanova ~

My sincere and deepest love to everyone going through their own AWAKENING...

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Journey to a new beginning

Continued from A Beginning To a New Me.

I have to say that on one occasion in 2002, I fell apart completely, I was having to see a counselor, I was put on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, anxiety pills because I couldn't function after the mental anguish that I was put through in the second marriage. By the time of my awakening (2005), I knew... deep inside, that what I was feeling and what I was going through was not normal and that is when I looked for the following:

A listing of important qualities to look for as you select your support team.

You are pushing uphill, the loss you have experienced can drain you of emotional, physical, and spiritual strength. You need the kind of person(s) who will show up at your door anytime to help you.

You need the safety net of people who love you deeply just as you are, even when you don't feel lovable.

You will encounter risk and fear. When the task looks too daunting to face, your support team will build your courage.

You can't see yourself objectively. You need honest people who are not afraid to correct you when you are wrong.

Seek out the experience of others who have been through such a heart breaking relationship and know what you are going through.

It is difficult to do what we have never seen done. Seek out and learn from those who have recovered.

Your value system will guide you as you turn your life around. We learn values from others, and others support us by enforcing values. Stay close to people who share your values; stay away from those who don't.

You need people who will monitor your progress and keep you on track.

You may already have in your life people who meet your need for support. If so, explain that you need them on your journey to recovery.

Friday, March 16, 2007



As I mentioned, this is lengthy, but very well worth it...

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

You learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsiblity and the importance of setting boundaries and...learning to say NO. (Tuff enough...)

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perserverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that's OKAY to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself...You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

yes... more to come.... one last part.

Monday, March 12, 2007

A Beginning To a New Me

My awakening had started some drastic changes in my life; how I saw things, how I interpreted things, how I saw other people in my current life, my past and those to come in to my life.

One of the things I realized after my two failed marriages was that, no one was going to walk up to me and say here; let me take care of you. I had to break the co-dependency. It was up to me, solely me, with the help of God. All my life, I have depended on others; to take care of me and my children, to take care of the bills, to take care of the cars, the house (honey-do’s), the list goes on. This was more than an awakening for me. This started a whole new revolution for me, a whole new world, a whole new life, but most importantly… a whole new “me”.

There is actually life after divorce and broken relationships, even from someone that could be so controlling and someone that laid much insecurity in my life. Where to begin???

I really didn’t know where to start. I had to deal with being really hurt, plus figuring out the single life, plus dealing with being alone. My kids are all grown up and out of the house. It was tough, but very well worth the struggles, tears, pain and tribulations, and there was no way around it.

First off, I had to get myself connected with some real good people, people that would understand to some extent my struggle and my hurt.

Secondly, I needed to learn whatever lessons there were in these failed marriages to help me prepare for falling in love again.

I have always lived on faith and trust, always. Faith has always played a big part of my life, but I had never placed all my trust in Gods’ hands, not completely that is, until now.

One of the ways God works is though other people. Solomon Said, “Two are better than one. …If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Some of these people will just show up in your life, sent at just the right time. Others you have to seek out. They can range from professionals to a neighbor or friend.

One of my next posts will be a listing of important qualities to look for as you select your support team.

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there.
~Author Unknown

Sunday, March 11, 2007


You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you.

So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their short-comings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for...

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

still more to come...

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Daddy Is Driving

*I received this in an email today, and after reading it, all I could do was smile and nod my head... and share...

A speaker (Dr. Wan) once shared his experience:

While his family and he were in Europe, there was once that they needed to drive 3 days continuously, day and night, to get to Germany. So, they all got into the car -- he, his wife, and his 3 years old daughter.

His little daughter has never traveled at night before. She was scared the first night in the car, with deep darkness outside.

"Where are we going, Daddy?"

"To your uncle's house, in Germany."

"Have you been to his house before?"


"Then, do you know the way?"

"Maybe, we can read the map."

After a short pause she asked, "Do you know how to read the map?"

"Yes, we will get there safely."

After another pause she asked, "Where are we going to eat if we get hungry before arriving?"

"We can stop by restaurants if we are hungry."

"Do you know if there are restaurants on the way?"

"Yes, there are."

"Do you know where?"

"No, but we will be able to find some."

The same dialogue repeated a few times within the first night, and also the second night. But on the third night, his daughter was quiet.

The speaker thought that she might have fallen asleep, but when he looked into the mirror, he saw that she was awake and was just looking around calmly. He couldn't help wondering why she was not asking the questions anymore --

"Dear, do you know where we are going?"

"Germany, Uncle's house."

"Do you know how we are getting there?"


"Then why aren't you asking anymore?"

"Because Daddy is driving."

Because Daddy is driving. This answer from a 3 years' old girl has then become the strength and help for this speaker for the many years follow whenever he has questions and fears on his journey with the Lord.

Yes, our Father is driving. We may know the destination (and sometimes we may just know it like the little girl -- "Germany", without understanding where or what it really is).

We do not know the way, we do not know how to read the map, we do not know if we can find restaurants along the way. But the little girl knew the most important thing -- Daddy is driving -- and so she is safe and secure. She knows that her Daddy will provide all that she needs.

Do you know your Daddy, the Great Shepherd, is driving today? What are your behavior and response as a passenger, His child?

You may have asked many questions before, but can you like the little girl, starts to realize the most important focus should be "Daddy is driving?"

* I remember many days and months, where I found myself asking tons and tons of questions, wanting answers. Now I find myself being at peace and calm because I finally realized that "He is driving, I don't know the destination, but I know I am safe...

Friday, March 9, 2007

A Thought To Jump Start Your Day

I became aware of one very important concept that I missed before:
my attitude - not my circumstance - was what was making me unhappy.
Vonette Bright

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Awakening I

This is a favorite of mine and a reminder for myself as to who I am, who I need to be and what I am working towards in my new life…

Upon browsing the net... I came across this poem that seems to scream quite a bit of what my life has been in the last 9 months... I felt compelled to just share it with those around me as I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this world and that we all have our own stories...

These thoughts are lengthy, but very well worth the reading. I assure you! At the end of it all, I will direct you to the website, but for now, I'll relay the message in spurts... so much of Victorya Casanova's words have already been experienced by me, so much that I sat here and nodded and smiled. Yet, many of her thoughts and words are still to be experienced and learned and my arms are wide open to my full AWAKENING! I think I'm more than half way there...

An AWAKENING is not a short synopsis of sorts. It is something very real and well worth the fight, the struggle, the tears and even pain!Because at the end, you'll find yourself in a peaceful place...


A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop deadin your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...

ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then like a child quieting down after a tantrum you blinkback your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your AWAKENING.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magicallyappear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

more to come....

Monday, March 5, 2007

A Bit Wiser

Despite this discussion of things spiritual - I still think of myself as a very "human" being. I have the full complement of weaknesses, fears, problems, ego, and sensuality. But I think this is why we're here - to work our way through all this, and, hopefully, come out a bit wiser and better for having gone through it all.

~ Jim

Friday, March 2, 2007

Leave Your Baggage Behind

People who
rise to the top seldom
get there alone.
They seek help.

We all hate dragging a million pieces of luggage through a crowded airport. What if you had to tote a couple of suitcases, backpacks, and carry-on bags every-where you went? It would weigh you down and hold you back.

It's the same when recovering from divorce, or a broken relationship. Emotional baggage can weigh you down and hold you back. One principle for finding God's way to divorce/broken relationship recovery is to leave your baggage behind.

By baggage we mean bad stuff from the past. We've all experienced difficult events and relationships, emotional hurts, serious mistakes, tragic accidents, or loss of a loved one. Ideally, these events are resolved as they happen. But often pain is stuffed instead of dealt with; offenders are not forgiven; fears are not confronted; conflicts are not resolved, leaving us with past feelings and patterns of behavior that impact the present. That's baggage. you can be sure that some of your baggage is directly related to the feelings you face after divorce/broken relationship, and you can't be fully healed until you deal with it.

Here are five practical tips for helping you discard baggage.

Acknowledge that a terribly painful thing has happened to you, involving issues that were not resolved. If you don't work through them, they will prevent your healing. So the first step is to confess to yourself and to God that you have these issues.

Seek from others the care and healing you need to resolve these issues. Pouring out your hurt to others who love you opens the door to comfort, encouragement, healing and support.

3. RECEIVE FORGIVENESS. Getting rid of baggage means being free of the guilt and shame of past failures and sins. God will forgive you for anything you have ever done, no matter how bad. Your past failures and mistakes may also have alienated you from certain people. You must go to them, humbly confess your wrong, and receive forgiveness. Once you know you are forgiven, accepted, and loved, you can then re-enter life and begin moving on.

4. FORGIVE OTHERS. Some of your baggage may be hurt you received from others, perhaps your former spouse/partner. You still carry pain, anger and perhaps hatred. You must forgive these people. If you don't forgive, resentment will eat away at your heart. When you forgive another, you release that person from your right to exact punishment and retribution from them. As well, you release your own baggage of pain and resentment in the process.

5. SEE YOURSELF THROUGH NEW EYES. Another kind of baggage is the distorted view of ourselves we learned in past relationship or situations. We tend to see ourselves through the eyes of others who are important to us. And depending on whether that view is positive or negative, we either feel valued or devalued. A realistic self view will be balanced, recognizing strengths as well as weaknesses and growth areas.

Find this view by seeing yourself through God's eyes, for he loves you unconditionally and values you highly. Add to this the view you get from those who love you as God does. Let this new you replace the distorted picture that has caused you such grief.

Holding on to the baggage of the past will disable your search for recovery from divorce/shattered and broken relationship. Ask God to help you leave it behind.