of who we are, how we were raised or what we believe, all of us fight the silent and lonely battles of not being enough, not having enough and not belonging enough.
~ Shame plays a significant and damaging role in women's lives.
~ We are all capable of overcoming shame and of helping other women and girls do the same.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Lighter Blogging Ahead
Things have been rather crazy these last two months, and this month proves to be even more crazier. My lease is up at my apartment at the end of this month, we just got PC moved in and I hope to be moved out by the 21st. I see quite a bit of late night packing and also some extra hours in at work... burning of the midnight oil is being foreseen. Doesn't help that
I'm tired already...
Therefore we do not lose heart.Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.For our light and momentary troublesare achieving for us an eternal glorythat far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,but on what is unseen.For what is seen is temporary,but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
I'm tired already...
Therefore we do not lose heart.Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.For our light and momentary troublesare achieving for us an eternal glorythat far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,but on what is unseen.For what is seen is temporary,but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Put Yourself Out On A Limb
I know that it's easier to portray a world that's filled with cynicism and anger, where problems are solved with violence. that's titillating. It's an easy out. What's a whole lot tougher is to offer alternatives, to present other ways conflicts can be resolved, and to show that you can have a positive impact on your world. To do that, you have to put yourself out on a limb, take chances, and run the risk of being called a do-gooder.
~ Jim Henson
Monday, April 2, 2007
What is true friendship according to the Bible?
We are reminded of the principle found in Amos. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed" (Amos 3:3). Friends are of like mind. The truth that comes from all of this is that friendship is that relationship that is entered into by individuals and it is only as good or as close as those individuals choose to make it. Some one has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that they will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.
I am truly blessed as I have a friend as the bible describes.... Suzanne Speaks.
Who would have ever known that two people, never knowing the other existed until "MySpace" brought our paths together, would end up to be such a great friendship. She had a gift for me this morning, a book; Balancing Your Life by Suzan D. Johnson Cook.
I love Self Help Books, I'm an avid reader of this line of books. I could start my own library, these amongst the many craft books that I tend to purchase also. This one will be sitting on my nightstand with the others that I am reading. I have to admit, as much as I love reading, I'm a slow reader, I take my time, I hate that I don't read on a daily basis, but that is something I'm working on. Hopefully things will change once I'm moved and settled in to the new place. :)
Friends such as this dear one to me, is a great source of support when you need it most!
I am truly blessed as I have a friend as the bible describes.... Suzanne Speaks.
Who would have ever known that two people, never knowing the other existed until "MySpace" brought our paths together, would end up to be such a great friendship. She had a gift for me this morning, a book; Balancing Your Life by Suzan D. Johnson Cook.
You are one of God's leading ladies, and as such, you have a very busy life. What is the key to success? Balance. yes, blanacing the many components of your life and keeping each element rightly aligned is essential in order to be everything God created you to be. In orcer to take your place on the stage of life and keep your place in the spotlight for the long term, you will need to be strong, healthy, and whole.
Thank you dear friend, you have definitely been a blessing in my life.
I love Self Help Books, I'm an avid reader of this line of books. I could start my own library, these amongst the many craft books that I tend to purchase also. This one will be sitting on my nightstand with the others that I am reading. I have to admit, as much as I love reading, I'm a slow reader, I take my time, I hate that I don't read on a daily basis, but that is something I'm working on. Hopefully things will change once I'm moved and settled in to the new place. :)
Friends such as this dear one to me, is a great source of support when you need it most!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Daily Wisdom
God's love for us is not the reason for which we should love him. God's love for us is the reason for us to love ourselves.
-Simone Weil
Monday, March 19, 2007
AWAKENING IV
So here I am posting the last part to my repost of The Awakening... You'll have to follow it all together at one time, it is worth every minute.
AWAKENING IV
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people...
...and you learn not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault.
It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you
want to live as best you can.
~ Victorya Casanova ~
My sincere and deepest love to everyone going through their own AWAKENING...
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Journey to a new beginning
Continued from A Beginning To a New Me.
I have to say that on one occasion in 2002, I fell apart completely, I was having to see a counselor, I was put on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, anxiety pills because I couldn't function after the mental anguish that I was put through in the second marriage. By the time of my awakening (2005), I knew... deep inside, that what I was feeling and what I was going through was not normal and that is when I looked for the following:
A listing of important qualities to look for as you select your support team.
SUPPORT.
You are pushing uphill, the loss you have experienced can drain you of emotional, physical, and spiritual strength. You need the kind of person(s) who will show up at your door anytime to help you.
LOVE.
You need the safety net of people who love you deeply just as you are, even when you don't feel lovable.
COURAGE.
You will encounter risk and fear. When the task looks too daunting to face, your support team will build your courage.
FEEDBACK.
You can't see yourself objectively. You need honest people who are not afraid to correct you when you are wrong.
EXPERIENCE.
Seek out the experience of others who have been through such a heart breaking relationship and know what you are going through.
MODELING.
It is difficult to do what we have never seen done. Seek out and learn from those who have recovered.
VALUES.
Your value system will guide you as you turn your life around. We learn values from others, and others support us by enforcing values. Stay close to people who share your values; stay away from those who don't.
ACCOUNTABILITY.
You need people who will monitor your progress and keep you on track.
You may already have in your life people who meet your need for support. If so, explain that you need them on your journey to recovery.
I have to say that on one occasion in 2002, I fell apart completely, I was having to see a counselor, I was put on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, anxiety pills because I couldn't function after the mental anguish that I was put through in the second marriage. By the time of my awakening (2005), I knew... deep inside, that what I was feeling and what I was going through was not normal and that is when I looked for the following:
A listing of important qualities to look for as you select your support team.
SUPPORT.
You are pushing uphill, the loss you have experienced can drain you of emotional, physical, and spiritual strength. You need the kind of person(s) who will show up at your door anytime to help you.
LOVE.
You need the safety net of people who love you deeply just as you are, even when you don't feel lovable.
COURAGE.
You will encounter risk and fear. When the task looks too daunting to face, your support team will build your courage.
FEEDBACK.
You can't see yourself objectively. You need honest people who are not afraid to correct you when you are wrong.
EXPERIENCE.
Seek out the experience of others who have been through such a heart breaking relationship and know what you are going through.
MODELING.
It is difficult to do what we have never seen done. Seek out and learn from those who have recovered.
VALUES.
Your value system will guide you as you turn your life around. We learn values from others, and others support us by enforcing values. Stay close to people who share your values; stay away from those who don't.
ACCOUNTABILITY.
You need people who will monitor your progress and keep you on track.
You may already have in your life people who meet your need for support. If so, explain that you need them on your journey to recovery.
Friday, March 16, 2007
AWAKENING III
AWAKENING III
As I mentioned, this is lengthy, but very well worth it...
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
You learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsiblity and the importance of setting boundaries and...learning to say NO. (Tuff enough...)
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty...so you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perserverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that's OKAY to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself...You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
yes... more to come.... one last part.
As I mentioned, this is lengthy, but very well worth it...
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
You learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsiblity and the importance of setting boundaries and...learning to say NO. (Tuff enough...)
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty...so you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perserverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that's OKAY to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself...You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
yes... more to come.... one last part.
Monday, March 12, 2007
A Beginning To a New Me
My awakening had started some drastic changes in my life; how I saw things, how I interpreted things, how I saw other people in my current life, my past and those to come in to my life.
One of the things I realized after my two failed marriages was that, no one was going to walk up to me and say here; let me take care of you. I had to break the co-dependency. It was up to me, solely me, with the help of God. All my life, I have depended on others; to take care of me and my children, to take care of the bills, to take care of the cars, the house (honey-do’s), the list goes on. This was more than an awakening for me. This started a whole new revolution for me, a whole new world, a whole new life, but most importantly… a whole new “me”.
There is actually life after divorce and broken relationships, even from someone that could be so controlling and someone that laid much insecurity in my life. Where to begin???
I really didn’t know where to start. I had to deal with being really hurt, plus figuring out the single life, plus dealing with being alone. My kids are all grown up and out of the house. It was tough, but very well worth the struggles, tears, pain and tribulations, and there was no way around it.
First off, I had to get myself connected with some real good people, people that would understand to some extent my struggle and my hurt.
Secondly, I needed to learn whatever lessons there were in these failed marriages to help me prepare for falling in love again.
I have always lived on faith and trust, always. Faith has always played a big part of my life, but I had never placed all my trust in Gods’ hands, not completely that is, until now.
One of the ways God works is though other people. Solomon Said, “Two are better than one. …If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Some of these people will just show up in your life, sent at just the right time. Others you have to seek out. They can range from professionals to a neighbor or friend.
One of my next posts will be a listing of important qualities to look for as you select your support team.
Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there.
~Author Unknown
One of the things I realized after my two failed marriages was that, no one was going to walk up to me and say here; let me take care of you. I had to break the co-dependency. It was up to me, solely me, with the help of God. All my life, I have depended on others; to take care of me and my children, to take care of the bills, to take care of the cars, the house (honey-do’s), the list goes on. This was more than an awakening for me. This started a whole new revolution for me, a whole new world, a whole new life, but most importantly… a whole new “me”.
There is actually life after divorce and broken relationships, even from someone that could be so controlling and someone that laid much insecurity in my life. Where to begin???
I really didn’t know where to start. I had to deal with being really hurt, plus figuring out the single life, plus dealing with being alone. My kids are all grown up and out of the house. It was tough, but very well worth the struggles, tears, pain and tribulations, and there was no way around it.
First off, I had to get myself connected with some real good people, people that would understand to some extent my struggle and my hurt.
Secondly, I needed to learn whatever lessons there were in these failed marriages to help me prepare for falling in love again.
I have always lived on faith and trust, always. Faith has always played a big part of my life, but I had never placed all my trust in Gods’ hands, not completely that is, until now.
One of the ways God works is though other people. Solomon Said, “Two are better than one. …If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Some of these people will just show up in your life, sent at just the right time. Others you have to seek out. They can range from professionals to a neighbor or friend.
One of my next posts will be a listing of important qualities to look for as you select your support team.
Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there.
~Author Unknown
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