Journey to a new beginning

Continued from A Beginning To a New Me.

I have to say that on one occasion in 2002, I fell apart completely, I was having to see a counselor, I was put on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, anxiety pills because I couldn't function after the mental anguish that I was put through in the second marriage. By the time of my awakening (2005), I knew... deep inside, that what I was feeling and what I was going through was not normal and that is when I looked for the following:

A listing of important qualities to look for as you select your support team.

SUPPORT.
You are pushing uphill, the loss you have experienced can drain you of emotional, physical, and spiritual strength. You need the kind of person(s) who will show up at your door anytime to help you.

LOVE.
You need the safety net of people who love you deeply just as you are, even when you don't feel lovable.

COURAGE.
You will encounter risk and fear. When the task looks too daunting to face, your support team will build your courage.

FEEDBACK.
You can't see yourself objectively. You need honest people who are not afraid to correct you when you are wrong.

EXPERIENCE.
Seek out the experience of others who have been through such a heart breaking relationship and know what you are going through.

MODELING.
It is difficult to do what we have never seen done. Seek out and learn from those who have recovered.

VALUES.
Your value system will guide you as you turn your life around. We learn values from others, and others support us by enforcing values. Stay close to people who share your values; stay away from those who don't.

ACCOUNTABILITY.
You need people who will monitor your progress and keep you on track.

You may already have in your life people who meet your need for support. If so, explain that you need them on your journey to recovery.