Treasurers in Hardships

Today's Devotional Reading from YouVersion...

Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships 

"This Bible plan shows how we can find great treasure through the hardships we face in life." 

I read this today in my YouVersion Plans... and it hits home on many levels... and made me think of the many trials, storms and losses I have endured. 

We all experience some form of tragedy, heart ache, loss, devastation and disaster, and I always try to remember that someone else out there, one of God's children, may be experiencing something much harsher than I....  and I stop to Praise Him through my storm, my loss, my struggle and heartaches... BUT I have never found myself questioning Him as to "Why?". I have experienced much strife and heartaches, stress and worry through my years... I have found myself so caught up through the shifting ground and winds of these storms, and I know that much of them came from the free will we have, but there's those events in our lives, such as the one expressed in this plan that we have no power or knowledge of what's coming ahead.

"We liv e in a world of utter loss. There are no easy answers. But we do serve a God who does not willingly bring grief to anyone. It is not God who is the source of devastation, it is always the enemy who casues horrendous heartache, devastation, and disasters."

"Cry out to God today and ask Him to help you repair the broken pieces of your heart and life."

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10 New International Version (NIV)

Readings:
Psalms 130:1-2, Psalm 34:18, Psalm 130:5, Lamentations 3:33, John 10:10, Psalms 121:1-2

Storms in our Lives

I saw this about two years ago...  and I just ran in to it again...  so...  I just had to share. I really don't know if anyone runs across my blog, but I hope that, for that "one" person that is reaching out for some sort of comfort and does run across my page, can find some comfort, a shed of light in that dark storm.

Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain) 

Gary Allan 

Oh so your standing in the middle of the thunder and lightning. 

I know you're feeling like you 

Just can't win, but your trying. 

It's hard to keep on keepin' on, 

When you're being pushed around 

Don't even know which way is up, 

You just keep spinning down, 'round, down... 

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day 

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain... 

So hold your head up and tell yourself that there's something more

And walk out that door, 

Go find a new rose, don't be afraid of the thorns

'Cause we all have thorns

Just put your feet up to the edge, put your face in the wind

And when you fall back down, keep on rememberin' 

Every storm runs, runs out of rain 

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It's gonna run out of pain

It's gonna run out of sting

It's gonna leave you alone

It's gonna set you free 

Set you free 

Every storm runs, runs out of rain 

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away 

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain 

It's gonna set you free, 

It's gonna run out of pain, 

And set you free 

Gary Allan - Every Storm (Runs Out Of Rain)

The Busyness of Life

Work has been hectic, but I can only praise God for the busyness of this. He is definitely answering my prayers.  

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. 

~ Psalms: 34:4 

I have been feeling much lighter in my walk lately. Thank you Jesus...  I AM BLESSED! 

Daily Bible Verse

W hen God takes something from your grasp; He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this sentence.....

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

Romans 8:28 (New International Version)

Sick and Tired

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

~Anonymous

We find that our Higher Power is doing for us what we can't do for ourselves. We have given up being "manipulators and operators" to become "true cooperators." We have hope for a better tomorrow.

The sick and tired existence of being sick and tired has finally come to an end.

Is Your Life Addressing These Questions to You?

What has brought you to this place in your journey, this moment in your life?

What gods, what forces, what family, what social environment, has framed your reality, perhaps supported, perhaps constricted it?

Whose life have you been living?

Why, even when things are going well, do things feel not quite right?

Why do you believe that you have to hide so much, from others, from yourself?

Why does life seem a script written elsewhere, and you barely consulted, if at all?

Why does the idea of your soul trouble you, and feel familiar as a long-lost companion?

Why is the life you are living too small for the soul's desire?

Why is now the time, if ever it is to happen, for you to answer the summons of the soul, the invitation to the second, larger life?

Finding Meaning In The Second Half of Life - How to Finally, Really Grow Up

*I found myself picking this book up again last night. I had bought it a few months back, started reading it and either because it just didn't quite fit my "then" current situations in life, or because life got hectic, I put it aside until life slowed down enough.... Well, I picked it up again... I picked it up for a reason, and the questions that are facing me right now in my life, I have to say that they are all similar to the ones listed above.

I had recently told PC, that as much as I love to read, I rarely will sit and read through a book in one sitting. I tend to read various books at once all over a staggered amount of time. So, here I am, picking it up and attempting to read through it again.

I will say though that I do have a book at home that I picked up at the local Half Price Book Store and haven't been able to put that one down... House of Spirits and Whispers: The True Story of a Haunted House. I have always been intrigued with hauntings, spirits and such. Well, this is just a bit of my reading interests at this time.

I'm Not Who I Was

Just as the title states...

I'm not who I was.

If there has ever been a song to relay exactly where I have been in life and where I am now... This is it.

Come Walk With Me...

*For the most recent postings, please scroll down. This post will stay on top until the day of the walk.

Come walk with me...

Event: NAMI Metropolitan Houston Walk
Team: Menninger Marchers
Date: May 5, 2007

I work at an in-patient mental health facility The Menninger Clinic. Menninger has been around for ages. The Clinic moved to Houston from Topeka Kansas 4 years ago. I just hired on in December of 2006, and for me, personally, it was a blessing. Life for me has been very peaceful and more sane.

When this walk came about, I had an inner calling for this, I have always tended to ignore that little voice when it has come to the good things in life. I was always about "Pushing the envelope" on the things that were on the edge. So, with all the new things coming about in my life, it's things like this that I need to start trying to do for others. Plus I get to walk with my dear friend from over at My Path.

NAMI is the nation's largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to improving the lives of persons living with serious mental illness and their families. Founded in 1979, NAMI has become the nation's voice on mental illness, a national organization including NAMI organizations in every state and in over 1100 local communities across the country who join together to meet the NAMI mission through advocacy, research, support, and education.

You can read more about them and the work they do here....

All About NAMI

The walks raise money through sponsorship of course. Much like the other organizations such as Juvenile Diabetes and the American Heart Association.

I've set a goal to personally raise $500 for the walk which takes place on May 5.

I've set up a personal page on the NAMI walk site where you can get more information about the Menninger team. You can also make a donation or even volunteer to come walk with me - if you're in the Houston area.

Come Walk With Sugar Cat

www.nami.org/namiwalks07/HOU/smedina

If you're not local but want to join a walk - go to the NAMI home page and follow the links to find a walk near you. It's a great cause and you'll feel good about yourself for participating.

Any donations are greatly appreciated.

Peace and the love of a daughter

It's been a while since I posted... Life has been so hectic between moving PC and myself. Things are still not slowing down, even at work. I have been praying and asking God to help me slow down, not just to be able to blog, but to enjoy all that I have been blessed with in my life.

To enjoy the beautiful nature that now surrounds me now. To enjoy a good day of rain, the sounds of cars passing by, the memories of my children as they were growing up, and the moments watching PC's children growing up, watching the dogs and the cats sleep and play. Just enjoying life on more than just one night a month. So here is a posting that I posted on my other site, it relates to Peace in our life... and What God has promised us... and most of all the love of my daughter in wishing me this gift of Peace for my birthday.

Repost from Living Life To It's Fullest.

On my birthday, (back in April), PC, my lovely daughter, her boyfriend and I, met for dinner out in Houston. We went to this real nice, quaint Chinese restaurant by my daughter's work. Upon being seated for dinner, my daughter quickly presented me with a gift and asked me to open it. She was obviously proud of her gift.

I teased everyone and told them, that with my aging way, I was going to do a "grandma" in opening my gift. I remember, so many times, birthday, mothers' day, any occasion really... when mother was presented with gifts, she would very slowly and neatly remove the wrapping and any bows from the gift. During the time that she neatly removed the wrapping one piece of tape at a time and meticulously removing the ribbon or bow, the rest of us aged a year or two during the process.

I finally opened the box and found some various wonderful gifts. My lovely daughter knows how much I love coffee, I was given some gourmet coffee "Texas Sunrise" and "Hazelnut" and to go along with the wonderful coffee, a gorgeous Red Coffee Cup with white Polk-a-dots, my daughter said she was looking for a cup with alot of personality... There was also a small little suede pouch in the gift box... before opening it up, she remarked with the following:

"Mom, you have so much love in your life, that I wanted you to have "Peace".

There was a cute little ceramic cross with the word Peace on it and a card that read:

Peace

Peace I leave with you;
My peace I give to you;
not as the world gives
do I give you.
Let not your hearts
be troubled,
neither let them be
afraid.

John 14:27

Her gift of Peace in my life, that moment during dinner, will stay with me always. My kids know what I've been through in my last 10 years of life, it hasn't been very peaceful at all. In fact, there has been many turbulent storms in my past, but those storms are well behind me. There has been alot of peace in my life these last two years, and the wishes from my daughter for continued peace in my life, well... there are no real words to add to the meaning of her gift.

I love you dear daughter, I thank God for you and your brothers every day.

Peace, sweet peace! It comes with the assurance of God's love and forgiveness. It comes from knowing that you are in right relationship with him. It comes from living each day in his care.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

~1 Peter 5:7

At the heart of the cyclone tearing the sky

And flinging the clouds and the towers by,

Is a place of central calm;

So here in the roar of mortal things,

I have a place where my spirit sings,

In the hollow of God's palm.

~Edwin Markham

Put Yourself Out On A Limb

I know that it's easier to portray a world that's filled with cynicism and anger, where problems are solved with violence. that's titillating. It's an easy out. What's a whole lot tougher is to offer alternatives, to present other ways conflicts can be resolved, and to show that you can have a positive impact on your world. To do that, you have to put yourself out on a limb, take chances, and run the risk of being called a do-gooder.

~ Jim Henson

A Bit Wiser

Despite this discussion of things spiritual - I still think of myself as a very "human" being. I have the full complement of weaknesses, fears, problems, ego, and sensuality. But I think this is why we're here - to work our way through all this, and, hopefully, come out a bit wiser and better for having gone through it all.

~ Jim

Leave Your Baggage Behind

People who

rise to the top seldom

get there alone.

They seek help.

We all hate dragging a million pieces of luggage through a crowded airport. What if you had to tote a couple of suitcases, backpacks, and carry-on bags every-where you went? It would weigh you down and hold you back.

It's the same when recovering from divorce, or a broken relationship. Emotional baggage can weigh you down and hold you back. One principle for finding God's way to divorce/broken relationship recovery is to leave your baggage behind.

By baggage we mean bad stuff from the past. We've all experienced difficult events and relationships, emotional hurts, serious mistakes, tragic accidents, or loss of a loved one. Ideally, these events are resolved as they happen. But often pain is stuffed instead of dealt with; offenders are not forgiven; fears are not confronted; conflicts are not resolved, leaving us with past feelings and patterns of behavior that impact the present. That's baggage. you can be sure that some of your baggage is directly related to the feelings you face after divorce/broken relationship, and you can't be fully healed until you deal with it.

Here are five practical tips for helping you discard baggage.

1. AGREE THAT YOU HAVE A PAINFUL PAST.
Acknowledge that a terribly painful thing has happened to you, involving issues that were not resolved. If you don't work through them, they will prevent your healing. So the first step is to confess to yourself and to God that you have these issues.

2. INCLUDE OTHERS IN YOUR HEALING AND GRIEVING.
Seek from others the care and healing you need to resolve these issues. Pouring out your hurt to others who love you opens the door to comfort, encouragement, healing and support.

3. RECEIVE FORGIVENESS. Getting rid of baggage means being free of the guilt and shame of past failures and sins. God will forgive you for anything you have ever done, no matter how bad. Your past failures and mistakes may also have alienated you from certain people. You must go to them, humbly confess your wrong, and receive forgiveness. Once you know you are forgiven, accepted, and loved, you can then re-enter life and begin moving on.

4. FORGIVE OTHERS. Some of your baggage may be hurt you received from others, perhaps your former spouse/partner. You still carry pain, anger and perhaps hatred. You must forgive these people. If you don't forgive, resentment will eat away at your heart. When you forgive another, you release that person from your right to exact punishment and retribution from them. As well, you release your own baggage of pain and resentment in the process.

5. SEE YOURSELF THROUGH NEW EYES. Another kind of baggage is the distorted view of ourselves we learned in past relationship or situations. We tend to see ourselves through the eyes of others who are important to us. And depending on whether that view is positive or negative, we either feel valued or devalued. A realistic self view will be balanced, recognizing strengths as well as weaknesses and growth areas.

Find this view by seeing yourself through God's eyes, for he loves you unconditionally and values you highly. Add to this the view you get from those who love you as God does. Let this new you replace the distorted picture that has caused you such grief.

Holding on to the baggage of the past will disable your search for recovery from divorce/shattered and broken relationship. Ask God to help you leave it behind.

A little about me

I am a Child of God

I love God, my children, my family, I love life and I love the friends that I have made here on-line and in life itself and I believe in unconditional love. I have lived an extremely full life in my 45 years on this earth. I don't live with regrets, many walk in shame and embarrassment from their past wrong doings and I have had my days of walking in shame and embarrassment, but I have repented and have asked for forgiveness for my actions and bad choices that I have made in my life. All my experiences, bad choices and actions have made me who I am today, and I thank God for the revelation of who I am on this day and who I am to be, at the end of this journey.

I have three beautiful children and have been married twice, in which those times, I have always believed that my calling from God, was to be a loving wife and mother. All of that was shattered when both marriages ended due to society's pressures, temptations and addictions. I am not a perfect woman, I have had some blame for each marriage coming to an end. I prayed each time for both marriages to be saved, nothing was changing. Little did I know that the ending to the first marriage was going to lead me down a long road full of uncertainty. All the time I prayed for God to change me, I thought it was me all along, but I found that I was the only one attempting to change. Each marriage ended, the second one left me a shell of a woman.

I fell in to a marriage that was a controlled one, it was a marriage that was based on "My way or the highway". I accepted that condition, due to my previous marriage, where there was no control on my ex-husbands part. The control that I allowed myself to live through was subtle at first, I was showered with attention, loving attention and as time went by, the control became more obvious, NEVER to abuse, but if my hair didn't look right, I needed to brush it different, I was told certain clothes didn't look right, I was told how to talk, how to communicate. I was told that my hobbies and interests would not have a place in my life because my life would be consumed by him. I was told to lose weight constantly, even at 115 lbs., it killed my self esteem, I thought I was unattractive, even at 110, even then, it was "5 more lbs". I was told that I wasn't a good mother to my children because I loved them too much. My children were my life, I was asked if I would give them up to their father (who could barely take care of himself). I couldn't do it, I had no choice but to lie at times to protect my children and my marriage. It wasn't always like this,each marriage had many great times. There were other things involved that led to the ruin of the marriage but, the control, was his addiction. I couldn't change any more...and I knew he wouldn't or couldn't, so when I prayed for my marriage to be saved, I was saved from the marriage. Twice God told me that the marriage was not a good one... I left that marriage with very low self esteem. I'm rebuilding my self-esteem as I write these words. I'm exposing myself here, only in hopes that maybe, just maybe, I can be some comfort for another woman out there. That she has worth to her, just as I do.

I continue on my journey, and I wake up every day and welcome the unknown that lays before me with open arms. I praise God for every single day that I am given.

I have been blessed with a wonderful man that has been a rock for me and of great support with my awakening... Thank you PC, I love you dearly for the endless love and support. I experienced an Awakening of sorts (with no knowledge to myself) in August of 2005, I didn't realize it until I read the poem "The Awakening" months later. The poem describes exactly what I found myself living at that particular time in my life, word for word.

An AWAKENING is not a short synopsis of sorts. It is something very real and well worth the fight, the struggle, the tears and even pain! Because at the end, you'll find yourself in a peaceful place...

I have been through the fight, the tears, the pain and still continue with the struggle on this journey of mine, but... I am in that peaceful place! Thank you Lord for the journey, the trials and the tribulations that made me the woman that I am today and for the woman that I am meant to be.

I am very open minded to all things in life, I don't judge others and don't like judgmental people. I believe in angels, I also believe that bad energy does exist and that we play a big part in creating it... My beliefs are my beliefs, I have an interest in many things that may come across as conflicting to others, but this is a free country... and in saying that my respect and full support goes to all military men/women that are out there fighting for my freedom of speech and my right to express it.

Please know there is no situation in your life that is too big for God to deliver you from. I personally know this.

I'm hoping that I can pass along some "hope" for those that face daily challenges.

This is my way of trying to make a difference in the world. 

**Update: Fast forward to April 2020 - I am God's Daughter, I belong to no one but Him. I no longer look for approval, acceptance and love from a man or from this earthly world. My bondage from Codependency have been broken through God and ONLY God! Glory to God forever!**