Life's Journey from 1999 to 2014

Life has a way of taking us through journey's that we never imagined, fathomed or believed that we could possibly think we could experience, good, bad, sad, happy, trying, and some that may feel debilitating. I am here to say that I've experienced many... Nothing has been easy, God gives us choices in life, it's up to us to quiet our minds, pray and listen for God's guidance and pray we make the right choices and decisions in life. When it gets tough and the storms seem like they will never end, do we call it quits on life, bail out and find an easy way out or do we pray and "stick it out"? "WWJD" comes to mind, He didn't bail out, He didn't say, "I Quit"... He endured the trials laid before him, the trials that He was thrown in to...

Since moving to Houston, I hoped for new beginnings, a new life, and then society pressures were allowed to seep in to my marriage and life. The year 2000 was when my thoughts of a life as a wife and mother completely changed... I made some bad choices in 2000, so much so that they not only affected my life, but the lives of all those that I love dearly. My family, my children and anyone that shared their lives with me in one way or another.The choices I made, led me down a dark road, through out those dark times, I was still able to feel that tug at my heart... that tug at my arm... The soft whisper in my ear... "This way my child" but I kept on walking in what I was so fooled to believe was the way to live life. But you see... the timing had already caused so much damage to my children and loved ones. I finally learned to quiet myself and listen closely for His Whispers... The one thing I learned though, is that, God does not want us living with shame or regrets.

"The Bible teaches us that once we confess our sins, accept Christ’s sacrifice for our sins on the cross on our behalf, and become children of God, we are cleansed from all our unrighteousness"(Colossians 1:15-22)

Read more: "What does the Bible say about shame and regret?"

I finally crawled out of that darkness and came to see the light, brighter than I could ever imagine. Everything was so clear and beautiful, Here With Me by MercyMe fits that moment so well, but yet, I still felt shattered from all those years of living my life for "me". I listened closely, made sure to ask Him for forgiveness and worked diligently to make amends and make peace with those lives that all my choices affected.

I still remember driving down the road one day, I was in tears... so lost, so confused, but still holding on with all the knowledge and faith, that God was taking very good care of me. I had made the right choice, but I was scared. I couldn't breath, the tears kept streaming down. This is where I cried out the words... "Jesus Take The Wheel" I remember that day so vividly, driving down the streets of Houston, Tx, listening to KSBJ. Wondering "What now Lord? You are in control, I can't do this anymore by myself. Forgive me!!"

He had me at that point... my life turned around for the better. 2005 and on had brighter days ahead, it was going to be an uphill battle, but I knew that God was with me and He would be carrying me. I was devoting more of my time to prayer, I was new to bible studies, back in church. Three years go by and I remarried... things were looking so bright, trials were still experienced, but they were nothing God couldn't handle, besides... I was out of the darkness that I had been crawling through previously and I was living a life that God was calling me to live. I was saved, in more ways than one... I can not fix some of the damages that occurred during those years prior, but I knew that through God alone, He could bring peace to me and all who were affected by my choices. Little did I know that my bright days would come again to a stormy end... I was shattered because I was living my life according to God's will. God was there though, He told me, I survived worse, I knew that this time, I could walk away with more confidence and less fear, because God was still with me. He had made me a stronger woman, prepared me for the upcoming storm that I did not even foresee in 2013.

It will be two years in March since moving out on my own... I have learned many things since then and continue to learn. God is continuing to work in my life... He is polishing this rock in to a GEM. I believe it... He has brought people in to my life that I never would imagine and taken others that I never thought would have been taken, but in the process of all these new people in my life and those removed from my life, I'm still learning more and more about myself. One thing I can say is that because of my relationships and how they ended, I no longer trust anyone in my life for the exception of God and my family. I do not allow anyone else to come in to my life or heart like I use to. I don't love like I use to either... I am a work in progress, but I refuse to allow a person to shatter my life completely because of their wrong doings, their flaws, their indiscretions... I no longer depend on anyone on this earth to make my life complete, I only depend on God now. I lean only on HIM... I do believe that, THIS was the lesson for me. No one but God alone can make me happy, then the love of my family. I am a work in progress! Praise God!!

So to those people that were in my life, that were trusted with my whole life and things failed, THANK YOU... for making me who I am today. May God work in you as He has worked continuously in me... To those in my life now, all I ask is for patience while God continues to work on me.

I AM GOD'S CHILD...

Life has a way of throwing many curve balls

It's been a while since I've posted to this blog... "WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31, 2011"and with a heavy heart, I find my self here, again, but in hopes to find my meaning in life that God has intended for me. I have grown very weary of many things in this life and yet, all I can do in all of this... is Praise God, because I know He has a plan for me and I will come out a stronger woman for it all. Thank you Jesus, for carrying me through my storms, it is ONLY because of You, that I am still alive and breathing. I no longer have much trust in men... I have been hurt in more ways than one that I have grown cold and numb to many things I use to believe in. I no longer have much faith in "man" but more and more in God, Himself. I want to thank my Ex Husbands for pushing me further and further in to God's Loving Arms. Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 ESV

In every situation, there are always two stories—the story you see and the story God sees.

Sometimes life seems to be taking us down a huge detour and everything looks like it's not going our way. In those situations, our life and our story seems to be a disaster.

This is exactly what happened to Joseph, whose story is found in Genesis 37-50. Joseph's brothers jealously hated him and sold him into slavery. Joseph was wrongfully put in prison for raping Potifer's wife, when really he refused to compromise his integrity by sleeping with her. Then, Joseph helped get the chief cupbearer out of jail; however, when the cupbearer had an opportunity to return the favor and get Joseph out of jail, the man forgot about Joseph. Joseph ended up spending thirteen years in jail for something he didn't do.
At this point Joseph's story was going haywire, but God's story was right on track. That's because God had an amazing plan for Joseph's life; God was going to use Joseph to save Egypt and the surrounding lands for seven years of devastating famine. What looked to Joseph like a huge detour was really a great plan of God to provide food for countless people, including the very brothers that had sold Joseph into slavery.

At the end of this, Joseph realized that God had a bigger plan for his life, and after his brothers come to him for food, he tells them: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Genesis 50:20).

All along, God's story was right on track.

This same principle is also true in the life of Jesus. To the disciples, it looked as those Jesus would be a great king who would rule Israel and return the nation to greatness. They hailed him as a great leader. So, when Jesus was being crucified, the story they saw looked like a major train wreck—this great leader whom they had followed for the past three years was suddenly dead. However, God's story was at its peak—God was in the process of connecting humanity to himself.

There's what you see and what God sees.

When your life seems to be a major disaster; know that God has bigger plans to use your life for great things. The story you see may not reflect the long-term story God has planned. Therefore, trust God, knowing that he works for good in all circumstances (Romans 8:28).